Its horrible when things don't go as we planned! Plus with the added pressure of social media our lives are more public than ever!
When I was small mum would take a picture of me in my uniform that would ONLY go in the family album (thank the lord as I wasn't an attractive child! My hair looked like mum had got a bowl and cut round it....) But now school uniform shots are allover Facebook. We literally seem to share everything, which is great when things go right but what about when they don't.
I teach LAMDA exams and am lucky that most of the time the children and parents get the marks that they want, but sometimes a child will get a high merit not a distinction which naturally leads to disappointment. Parents are so supportive of their children that I often feel that they feel they have let their child down. The child on the other hand feels that they have upset their parents... so this is a vicious circle. My advice to a parent is-
1. When given the result PLEASE don't cry or get upset. You are crying because you don't want your child to be upset and you know how hard they worked, so its heart breaking for you. A child perceives this as having let you down. This can lead to a child having a fear of exams or assessments as they start to struggle with the pressure.
2. Reassure your child that this isn't the end of the world. Tomorrow is another day and you can work through this together. Sometimes when children get a lower grade than friends they start to feel alone and isolated. Its great for them to know that they have the full support of their parents.
3. Reiterate that a mistake is only a mistake when you don't learn from it. At any age we are all learning. Nobody knows everything there is to know. In life we all face hard times and sometimes things go wrong, but we learn from our mistakes and that is what makes us stronger, smarter and more resilient.
4. Assess, evaluate, plan then move on - Assess what went wrong, make a plan to fix it next time then move on without dwelling. If a child sees or hears that them not making the grade is an issue it becomes a bigger problem which in the long term will be harder to fix.
5. Know you are doing a great job as a parent... if you weren't you wouldn't be feeling any of the above.